I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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