She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
