We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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