Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
