omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
