Its about making memories worth repressing
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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