He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
