Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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