suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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