Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
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It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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