You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
