You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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