I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
