Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
