I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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