And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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