the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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