ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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