I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
