he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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