Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize