i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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