I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
