Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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