Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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