i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
