My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We named our party play list daddy issues
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
