is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
