So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Let's get the cat blown out
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
