Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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