i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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