Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
