Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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