Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
wow bdsm is so cute
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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