she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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