i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize