she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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