Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!