bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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