Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable. http://tfl.nu/h3dd
  Replies (13) Good night (536) Bad night (1930)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  oh fuck your right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can. (1-214): oh fuck your right http://tfl.nu/6rmf
  Replies (21) Good night (4321) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions. http://tfl.nu/8b19
  Replies (5) Good night (2971) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

  (425): View more from Washington

  Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies... (425): Let's let the open bar be the judge of that. http://tfl.nu/ch8t
  Replies (7) Good night (5728) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup. http://tfl.nu/y9af
  Replies (16) Good night (5595) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves". http://tfl.nu/iji3
  Replies (9) Good night (2668) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub http://tfl.nu/8dtz
  Replies (8) Good night (1989) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on. http://tfl.nu/71nz
  Replies (5) Good night (1708) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome. http://tfl.nu/2baz
  Replies (8) Good night (2357) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside. http://tfl.nu/ipia
  Replies (14) Good night (569) Bad night (2022)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan http://tfl.nu/xroh
  Replies (11) Good night (1873) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum http://tfl.nu/f5r0
  Replies (7) Good night (684) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He used a "food city great value" card to cut it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli (267): He used a "food city great value" card to cut it http://tfl.nu/fxwe
  Replies (2) Good night (309) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well http://tfl.nu/kp3m
  Replies (4) Good night (237) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater. http://tfl.nu/ixlx
  Replies (4) Good night (565) Bad night (212)

Randomize