Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

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  (845): I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway. http://tfl.nu/8j56
  Replies (11) Good night (552) Bad night (1108)
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  (650): View more from California

  the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i

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  (650): the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i <3 spencer pratt" tattoo... http://tfl.nu/08eh
  Replies (17) Good night (541) Bad night (1991)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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  (540): new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/tvzk
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (1585)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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  (972): Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88" http://tfl.nu/q0w3
  Replies (58) Good night (4789) Bad night (642)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE

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  (513): WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/ja6y
  Replies (17) Good night (749) Bad night (5335)
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  (408): View more from California

  Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?

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  (408): Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut? http://tfl.nu/riq0
  Replies (39) Good night (1269) Bad night (4447)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.

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  (207): Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father. http://tfl.nu/7nfw
  Replies (49) Good night (1513) Bad night (13767)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

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  (610): I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin! http://tfl.nu/gtgt
  Replies (14) Good night (9254) Bad night (1642)
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  (714): View more from California

  im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me

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  (714): im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me http://tfl.nu/k37i
  Replies (8) Good night (3490) Bad night (704)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving

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  (514): i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving http://tfl.nu/yrvc
  Replies (7) Good night (3508) Bad night (1287)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.

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  (512): I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect. http://tfl.nu/coze
  Replies (4) Good night (2444) Bad night (1042)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?

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  (250): You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you? http://tfl.nu/8g3a
  Replies (9) Good night (2711) Bad night (1073)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?

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  (845): Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do? http://tfl.nu/0iqf
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (1066)
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  (359): View more from

  A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.

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  (359): A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying. http://tfl.nu/5q6d
  Replies (3) Good night (367) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does

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  (651): Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business". (651): I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/4wrb
  Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (206)

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