There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.