They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
