I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize