I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize