plz talk dirty to me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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