just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
