you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
