hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
