I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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