i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
