do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
