i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize