I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
