I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
