U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
