So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
