My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
