You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
