He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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