oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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