there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
