Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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