Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
