I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize