Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
