Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
