im drinking this country out of the recession.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
