Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
