If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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